wow, funny how you can go on and on when you're mad and just mad. all those anger can flow through your mouth and all those nasty words can be said easily.

sometimes you cry when you're too angry and no words or action can describe how angry you are.

i can't do all those things now. not because i'm not mad. no. i'm far beyond mad. i'm so fcukin mad that i can't even scream or say nasty words or slam the door or anything. i want to scream so fcukin bad but damn it i can't.

so here i am now just typing into this blog calmly. ha ha.

okay. first of all. am i 18? is it still too young? what age should i be to be considered an adult? so i can live my own life. make mistakes and learn from it. it's not like i'll be making stupid mistakes like a spoilt brat. i know the boundaries. i'm not fcukin stupid. when can i make my own decision without anyone's voice inside my head. when can i do things i want without anyone telling me i can't.

second of all. i'm damn stubborn. i don't like people yelling at me or talking to me with a tone. that is why i don't like to be blamed even if i am wrong. if you wanna make me feel sorry, talk to me calmly. don't yell or speak to me with a tone. it's all gonna be fcukin useless. i won't even listen and i will never stop talking until i win the debate.

third of all. don't act nice when you're actually not. do not ever act nice in front of someone, and talking bad about them behind their back. nuff said.

fourth of all. don't be too judgy. don't act like you are alwayyyyyys right. no one is! give a chance to get to know someone before you can judge them and make bad assumptions. stop assuming when you don't know the truth.

ah well screwitall. i don't really care or give a damn.